This is a very interesting time in my life. Very interesting and very alien. Maybe this is because it feels very unfamiliar but at the same time very liberating and exhilarating in a calming way. For the first time in my life I am enjoying my own company and potentially getting to meet myself. No filters. No influence (or at least, minimal). No comparisons. No distractions. Just me.
I am relatively underground in hibernation and I only pop up into the world discerningly. This is very different from previous phases in my life where I ‘engaged’ with 2,000+ odd ‘friends’ just on Facebook alone, and 6–8 social engagements each day of my weekend.
Today, my days couldn’t be more opposite.
This is generally my day everyday. 7 days a week. No weekends.
I wake up around 7ish am. No alarm (though I do track my sleep). I allow my body to wake up when it feels rested. I then promptly reach for the phone. Open the Bible App > read > thank Papa (also known as God, Higher Reality, Universe to others) for another brand new beautiful day. I hop out of bed, do 10–15 mins of asanas. Sit to meditate for 10 mins. The sitting always happens, meditating is optional! I make myself a fresh tumbler of warm water with fresh lemon or dried hibiscus. Get to my study desk and read. Presently I am reading The Purpose Driven Life by Rick Warren for the second time. One chapter a day. Make notes. After that and once finishing my warm water > I brush my teeth > dress for the day > oil my hair with a strong yet relaxing head massage for good measure. I join my parents for daily church service that we attend together online. This is a new development. I’m still not sure about daily service; the rituals feel alien and far removed from my personal practice but I find meaning and community in coming together with my parents to participate in a practice that is important to them. I have after all been given bonus time to be with them considering this is the Tail’s End. I then get down to study. Finish a module or two. One day it is The Path to Moral Leadership by Acumen Academy, another day it is Decision by Design by Farnam Street etc. This takes around 2 hours. By then London Writers’ Hour begins promptly at noon and I am logging in, saying hello to other fellow writers, and then typing away at my laptop keys (as I am doing right now).
By the time I am finished it is lunch time. I head to the watering hole aka our kitchen… Mom, Dad and my brother are all there. We have lunch together most days. Listen to music. Chat about sometime we read this morning — Possibly an intention from Ryan Holiday’s The Daily Stoic or how deconstructing the episode of X, Y & Z we watched together the night before. Presently it is Billions or Le Bureau des Légendes. Earlier this year it was Money Heist. Bizarrely (or that is me passing judgement) it was Das letzte Wort at Christmas time. Once done with lunch, one of us picks up the plates to wash, another heading to clear the counter and put away the surplus uneaten food (leftovers feels like such a negative word here), another pours everyone homemade kombucha. There is no conversation on whose responsibility or whose turn it is. We then each head to our rooms or the sitting room to read / work / study / nap. Come 4pm or 5pm everyone finds a reason to gather back at the kitchen. To make tea. Get a biscuit or walnuts. I then get back to reading, watching a talk or head out for golf lessons.
We all gather back at the end of the day. I make popcorn. Only the best in the world — olive oil, a pinch of fresh homemade turmeric powder and pepper with just the right amount of dried rosemary, thymes and salt. One of us preps some other snacks or a little dinner for everyone. My brother gets the telly set up and we all sit to watch, snack and comment on the film or series we are watching that evening. At the end, we chat and giggle a bit together while putting away the plates and taking out the garbage. Mom and I then head for an evening walk — Some mother-daughter time to bond, discuss the day, joke around… creating priceless memories in the bargain. Once back I head to my parents’ room to put eye drops for my Dad. Say goodnight to everyone. Get back to my room, have a hot shower, meditate, talk to Papa and close my eyes for the day.
The next day is the same. Possibly a slight variant while yet feeling like hours of contact improvisation… with different parts of myself. The daily dance of being. I feel content. Filled with a sense of unadulterated joy. At peace with myself. Another day well spent.
While rereading and editing this note I am reminded of a scene from the New Amsterdam series where an elderly doctor tells the new incoming Medical Director who believes in living at full throttle…
“The key to survival is to have more than one speed.”
Maybe this is what my days will intentionally look like for a while to come or maybe my energy will shift gears overnight. Whatever tomorrow brings me…
I am trusting.
I am surrendering.
I am unafraid.
I am ready.
Herein lies my liberation. Daily.
